I feel bad for how i treated my ex reddit They paint beautiful pictures with their words but deliver very little and the more you push. Even tho I treated them and their family really good. The pain I caused her is eating me up inside and has done since the breakup and I don't know what to do. DO NOT CONTACT HER. Advice? You may have treated him like gold, and he treated you like shit. You need to deal with those feelings of not checking. For example look at Rihanna with one of her exes or Halsee. Within a year he’s texting long term ex gf and trying to see her, trying to play games etc. My ex was like that and today I finally saw a picture of her perfect life with two dogs and a new boyfriend celebrating Christmas. The pain is physical. Just because she looked you up on LinkedIn, doesn’t mean your ex girlfriend is still feeling deep feelings for you– either positive or negative. Has absolutely nothing to do with you, and has everything to do with the fact that you two just weren’t right for each other. I let her step all over me and now that I’m healing I can’t help but feel so embarrassed for letting all that shit slide. Looking you up on social media could have just been an idle brain wave on her part. Basically, you need to employ your willpower and don't check on her. My dad is an asshole but he was still my dad. My first gf however, I did not actually like her much and ended up ending it because I knew I didn’t have the full desire to be the best version of myself for her. My breakup was amicable but I do still feel anger towards my ex for wasting my time. It wasn’t selfish. i ended things because she treated me poorly. The gut feeling that things aren't right is usually coming from some deep incongruity in the relationship. doesn’t make it fair on the rest of us though. What I want to say is you did not deserve to be treated in a bad way whatsoever. He will basically message her and try to see her and half way apologize. No one deserves to be treated bad. When people communicate issues and their communication is ignored over and over and they leave you, it’s not really selfish. It’s actually toxic to think they would stay. I feel really betrayed and I would always compare myself to her. For example, my ex was wonderful but I realized after we broke up that deep down, she had very different values regarding careers, family and religion than I did. And it’s frustrating because it’s not fair to compare but things with her were so much more natural. Would you be happier being at risk of a mental breakdown he caused previously? I think you should be grateful he's out of there. Even criminals and mass murderers have rights. We had so much in common and more. At least in a healthy way. He's now treating me right after months of countless arguments. It’s been really jarring. Took me about a year to find my ex fiancé and when she got pregnant she left me because of hormones and our break up got really bad. If you want to give your ex some encouragement, you have to wait until she is ready for it. You lied to that woman, led her on, misrepresented your feelings and you were an absolute bastard to her in the end. My bf is an absolute gem, patient angel of a man, but he’s very introverted and independent and I worry that maybe I haven’t changed all that much and am making my bf just as miserable. I felt needy for wanting to be a part of her life, I felt like a pervert for wanting to have sex after 8 months of nothing. TL;DR! My ex gf is having miserable life after her marriage and I feel bad for her. He seems unhappy now with the one he left her I feel so powerless… and selfishly I want him back, but the me that wants growth knows he deserves better. So we moved him in with us and my ex-husband would take care of him too along with everything else. That’s such a hard thing to come to terms with. And how I let it happen too. i begged her to treat me with consistency, and made sure to have an open line of communication (at least have her know that i was there). Bad energy will only hold you back in your life and let's say you were still together. I never laid a hand on her, and I didnt have the intention of controlling her but I'd only be lying to myself if I didnt own the fact that I was manipulative at times and made her feel small, and that my behavior touched on abuse at times and other times couldn't be considered anything but mentally or emotionally i (f17) was with my ex gf for just over a year. The problem is that I feel terrible for how I treated her, she didn't deserve to feel so useless and unloved for those 3 months, she was always such a great loving and caring girl. So when being assertive of these needs make sure you tell him it’s just because you’ve been emotionally neglected in the past and you’re trying to avoid feeling like that again. You screwed up, and there's nothing you can do to fix it right now. I'm a 31m and in many ways I was abusive to my ex. Feeling guilty for how you treated your ex doesn’t change or erase the past. This message is nothing more, nothing less. ) He treated me badly, couldn't communicate, was micro cheating on me, threw me out of things and just generally wasn’t a good boyfriend. I also see similarities in things he would say (wanting space and having to deal with my emotions) and things my current bf says. And I'd be honest, I still harbour feelings for her but at the same time I know she chose that guy as a better option. If you think about her, try to cut yourself off and think of something else. In spite of your help pulling me out of my depression and getting my education back on track. During that time my dad wasn't doing very well and i convinced him to allow our dad to move in so we could take care of him. I stopped cheating for a while. I can’t help but feel so embarrassed and ashamed when I’m reminded of how I was treated by my ex. the more they go away, like the 2 magnets analogy. But, I am feeling really bad for her and don't know how to accept this reality and deal with these emotions. It will make you feel bad, but looking her up is making you also feel bad, as you can read in your own post. My ex was a bit of both and it stems from childhood trauma etc. It’s not that no one is as good as my ex, it’s that no one makes me feel alive like she did. I'm trying to get over seeing my ex who is a good person and was fair to me suffer bad luck. I love him, and I wish I treated him that way so he could actually believe that I did love him. Dec 15, 2024 · You feel bad because you did a very bad thing to someone who trusted you with their heart. giving me all the affection in the world, withdrawing it, and telling me it was me overthinking. You need to do response prevention. I feel he has unresolved guilt. I’m over my cheating ex but I won’t lie that it hurts to think about how I gave my all to someone that treated me that much like garbage. Any advice is welcome. I feel so bitter and it's effecting my current relationship and my life. I treated my ex poorly even though I loved her deeply, and in turn I feel she has grown to resent me yet I’m madly in love with her. I feel so stuck and bored. Me (f22) broke up with my boyfriend (M23. But reading them I realize now, just how bad I treated you. . I left my ex because he was abusing me. He was losing the ability to use his legs. I literally sacrificed friends, time with my family and opportunities in life and at work also my mental health just to make them happy. She blocked him away for 2 years and had a baby and he found out and has text her and bothered her. It’s over. It took a year for my boyfriend to actually treat me like a girlfriend. I felt sick but I also feel release, like it's finally come full circle. I’m glad you can relate. My relationship isn't perfect and my SO has Aspergers so there's a lot I have no experience with. Not trying to strike up a friendship or stay in touch. But at the root of it, he just wasn’t happy. All my dreams remind me is how much i loved him and gave him my all and in the end i opened my eyes to realize he constantly had no respect for me, constantly cheated on me, lied to my face, gas lighted me, made me feel like i was truly nothing, telling me how ugly i am, telling me how annoying i am, trying to punch me and grab me and both About 2 months after me and my ex gf broke up she started seeing someone else and got pregnant and married right away. You have both moved on. Idk why. Too bad it's been ten years down the drain for me too. You feel bad and want to fix everything right here and now, but try to recognise that at least part of this feeling is selfish. Bottom line: you don't need a reason to break up with someone. Everything feels so pointless. So FA is a fearful avoidant and an AA is an anxious avoidant. Remember that even very beautiful and famous people get treated in a very bad way. It's all to fill the same void though. TDLR: My ex's life got so much better as mine got so much worse. You can't treat people like trash then feel bad about it like that makes it remotely ok. My trauma just took over, and my love was not evident. Just wanted to give you my sincere apology, a little older and a little wiser. She even admitted in the breakup we worked well together. But I still feel bad from time to time none the less. after dumping her, i found out that she treated me like shit bc her I feel so powerless… and selfishly I want him back, but the me that wants growth knows he deserves better. From everything I can tell, my ex treats his new girlfriend amazingly. I ALWAYS thought he was incapable of doing so. There are dozens of examples. I don't know what I should do. It’s evident to me I was neglected and it would have been so easy to keep me. Why would my ex treat me like shit and act like they hate me after the relationship. wsiksmpx gkbdr lxcp mqft uxqlht swxytdn mqxvlp ddboaw ywhb exnby