Boyfriend expects me to pay for everything reddit. My (22m) girlfriend (21f) expects me to pay for everything.

Boyfriend expects me to pay for everything reddit He had a job but otherwise just played video games. I started noticing that most everything one has to do in their day to day is done by his mother. She asked my ex boyfriend specifically to go get her Chinese food once, and I told her no. I like equality. He Is Not Working. She waited for me to go out and went trough all my things in search for money. I currently live with my parents. I pay for fuel. I asked what he wanted me to pay now, and he was adamant about it being 50/50. Sometimes covered his rent. It is so incredibly clear. You can only expect a little from him if he is working or was recently laid off. The times my partner has said they'll pay for me I am always thankful because to me it's like a present or something and it makes me feel appreciated and loved. She told me that since I organized everything and I was "THE MAN," I was obliged to pay for everyone. It may be the season. My girlfriend 32 who has a child from a previous relationship told me I’m 32 that as a man I should buy her whatever she needs, and if I don’t I’m not a real man. I guess I think your boyfriend is all around tacky. I am. Relationships I know money is divisive in this subreddit so I'm hesitant to post but here it goes. My new boyfriend and I are both seventeen and seniors in high school. I paid most of expensesutilities and food. I lived with my bf. So I guess He expects me to create that as well. I’ve told him before that I don’t mind paying sometimes but I don’t wanna do it all the time. If you are fed up of paying for everything (and you should be), don't offer to pay beyond the first few dates. He literally calls me his Queen and treats me as such. I honestly wouldn't have gotten upset if there In your 20s it's sooooo easy to think "oh they just haven't gotten their career sorted, but surely there's time" (me lying to myself at 24 about why my 30yo boyfriend was still working side gigs). I make around $90,000 base salary and my bf makes around $230,000 base salary. My current boyfriend doesn't like it when I pay in front of his friends or at a restaurant (he says splitting it is tacky), but I pay for groceries, fast food, takeout, etc to keep it even. Living in someone’s house rent free is She has a lot of money saved but only likes to spend it on her self. I just want to start this off by stating that I absolutely love my boyfriend, he's my bestfriend and the love of my life, and I don't mind paying for things most times; however, my boyfriend and I are both 23 and we live together, for the past year he has been out of work, so I have been paying for everything, rent, utilities, groceries, vet bills, his medical bills, gas for both of our cars Also, it might be good to ask her what would happen if she had to pay for everything for you and your friends to help her see your side of it. 5x more than I do, we split everything evenly. I was fine with this, and somewhat hoped he would pay more for dates, groceries etc (but understood this is the 21st century and I should not* expect my bf to pay). The thing is, when we first started dating - I told him that I NEED a man that can support himself. not. I do all of these tasks the issue is I only do it when I feel like it not when he wants it. I don't want to lose him but I'm sick of hearing "love is all you need". My (26f) boyfriend (30m) and I have been together for two years and a half. We have amazing time together and overall she is nice and cool. Been together almost 13 years. I come back and she's in a horrible mood for rest of the day. Because i could finally go easy on my bank account. turns me down. I’m about as traditional as they come. If I were in his place I But *every single* time we hang out, I have to pay for everything because she doesn't have any money. He goes down to their house and stays the night every weekend, always coming home with new stuff, a $3,000 camera, new apple lap top, she does his laundry. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: expecting my boyfriend to be a bit more generous financially 2. If he doesn't have a car but you do that is a perfectly valid reason to not date him hun. My advice is to just make an effort to split stuff evenly from now on, this isn't an impossible hurdle to overcome. My dad works as a sailor and he is always away as well, so moving with him would be impossible. Nothing. What stood out to me is the fact that she told me she expects the guy to pay for all the dates in a relationship and would never date someone who didn't take her out to really nice places and pay for everything. Since we started dating 7 months ago, I feel like I've had to make a load of changes to myself to suit his personality and lifestyle, yet he doesn't seem to return the favour. TL:DR my boyfriend makes 2. New comments cannot be For the guys who pay for everything— I have a history of turning to Reddit when I got through relationship things hah. But I feel like it's an incredible insult to me and my time. I always offer to pay, or at least pay half, and sometimes I can get away with it. Is this fair? I let my first boyfriend take my car to drive to work in the next town 20 mins over, and my dad bought me a bike to ride to work in town, 30 min round trip on the side of a busy highway. throwaway24515 • Cancel. I agreed. She texted me “thanks for everything” from the airport. We own a rental property and I collect rents and manage the finances for Just as a second perspective, the OP reminds me of my boyfriend, and while I find it somewhat annoying sometimes, I don't think it has the same motivations outined in your comment. Which hurt because when she did that I was beyond greatful and it really made me enjoy the meal. Just me. Why shouldn’t I pay for things from time to time’. It makes me feel like I’m Obligated to do all the chores in the house. Locked post. Just HIMSELF. So be the There are alot of other things that make me feel like his caretaker, but my biggest concern that takes up so much of my frustration is providing ALL his meals to him. The way you write you are not and that is completely ok. I was ok with doing the back and forth commute of 40minutes total but I am wondering how normal it is to expect this from me. Or check it out in the app stores   He pays me $600/month to put toward bills which is basically all he can really afford. Paid $7 for crackers and other ridiculous things. might make me an AH because i’m expecting him to pay for me when he isn’t obligated to If my mom went grocery shopping, it came from that account. If I did it alone I would be more than happy to, but she used that trip as free rental car and free hotel to have a fling with my new She's had rich boyfriends who pay for everything and spoil her financially, but I: one, can't do that right now. He was emotionally cheating on me with this barista and broke up with me for her. I He makes a lot more than I do, and we've always split bills accordingly, which ends up being about 80% him. I mean sure I'd LOVE never to have to pay for stuff but that His dad is incredibly difficult when it comes to family time. And most times, my husband (then boyfriend) would pay for dinner and groceries to even it out. However, paying for a date is fairly common although less so than it used to be. I need some advice. 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. He pays for groceries and dinners out. You wanna take a trip, but she can't afford it, you save up longer and pay for the two of you to go. Relationships My boyfriend (28M) and I (28F) have been dating for about 7 months and I moved into his apartment about a month ago. I want him to do it for himself and get his ass in school already and work so I can quit financially supporting us on my tiny paychecks. But had no problem telling me her dinner and drink orders, finding expensive restaurants on yelp and when we went grocery shopping I had to buy extra gluten free things (she doesn’t have celiac). I pay for the food, and dates, most gas, and I also got her some nice stuff for Christmas. If you There is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards that you yourself can meet (aka reasonable standards). I'm also studying. Didn't want to talk about it. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or I’ve been dating girlfriend for one year I love her to bit she is great person smart and etc. Stop paying for anything and see how long he sticks around, see how much of his conversation revolves around things you "should" be buying and doing for My boyfriend gave up his job and now expects me to pay for everything. My friend's boyfriend gave me an inappropriately expensive I feel like this sometimes. When he went to jail, he lost his place. So I ask him “you want me to do all the work and pay back the camera and you keep 50% of all of my income, meanwhile you do nothing?” He looked at me like he was offended that I don’t understand how this is a gift. My bf said I can stay with him as long as I cook and clean. I wouldn’t even let someone pay for me on my birthday. Open comment sort options. My mother is similar. She's not the one staying up until 8 AM working to pay for the things we do. To him, nothing else is more important, nothing justifies missing it. To me it’s a matter of honor. Sometimes he will pay me back, sometimes he won't. He apologized to me and his to parents and he gave me an opportunity to tell them anything I wanted to tell them about my actual family, my life. A lady never pays in my presence. Anyone who expects to go rent free needs to be reminded that this isnt the 80s or 90s anymore. Women who want men to pay for things want men to be in charge. During these times, he expects me to put aside my bewilderment and indignation at his getting upset over small things and comfort him and provide him with emotional validation. Then later holds it over my head when I don’t clean and say I paid for this for you or I got us groceries. I honestly feel as if she just wants me to take over for what her dad is doing for her (his child) Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. She occasionally still tries but I I absolutely never expect him to pay for me, but he almost always does. If you can pay for your own meal but he can't pay for his own meal then it's a perfectly valid reason to not date him. I told him that if he wants me to live that life too, he has to pay for it, because I can't afford it and I wouldn't be doing those things if we weren't together. He will drive me wherever I want to go, in my own car that I make payments on and pay insurance for. For one, she expects me to take on her responsibilities as a “partner”. . You have invested your unflinching faith in your boyfriend, and now he is using it to his benefit. He is also happy to pay for everything. To flip the script a little bit: I make 50k and my boyfriend makes 300k. He will take out the trash once a week or help with some repairs that need two people, but whines about it. New. With my last 3 girlfriends I expected them to pay half on the first date and it worked out fine. It helped me get out of a bad My boyfriend (of 3 years) recently moved in with me about 6 months ago. At the bottom of the invite was a bill for $400 to pay for the venue plus $150 for the meal. He does. On vacation, he pays for everything except my plane ticket. His expenses have tripled since we started dating. She called me a bitch. Idk the procedure on this. Buy her things you think she should have, and smile and chuckle when she asks for things she really does not need, and tell her why she does not need them. It will only get I never expect him to pay for me, but when he wants to go out and I have no money he says don’t worry I go you. I am not happy and have attempted to break up with him. (They live together, and her name is not on the deed. For some Basically the brunch went really well. I keep my apartment super clean, and didn't want pets because I hate dealing with shedding and their dirty/muddy paws. Suggest splitting the bill for the next date, keep it low key. Dont even have to say that just once u confirm the relationship make an agreement that everything's 5050 unless specified otherwise. But its like - every single time. Expects you to pay for things, asking a girlfriend of a few months for a fancy gift, then wanting a receipt to upgrade when he won't pay for you both. She is not getting taken advantage of we’re three years in and we’re still paying for stuff and we don’t know how to stand up for ourselves like what’s going on here he was threatening to break up with you instead of you just be like OK break up with me you’re like I wanna be with you even though you’re complaining about having to pay for everything like people create their own My boyfriend told me this morning that his son was sick and would be staying home today and when I said My boyfriend does the bare minimum in supporting our household and expects me to drop everything on a dime if he or his child need me but doesn’t reciprocate My 34M girlfriend 29F expects me to pay for everything Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I know I make more but I am so insulted that he wants me To pay for everyyything. I am more conscious of paying my own way with my bf (even though I'm a college student and he is fully qualified with a good job) because I don't have a lot of money. They were really interested and it was really I have a friend who is currently paying her boyfriend's mortgage while the boyfriend refuses to work. Lease was in his name. To be fair I also played this game of chicken at our ‘anniversary dinner’ and he paid, but he looks at me waiting to offer. The reason for this is simple. My (22m) girlfriend (21f) expects me to pay for everything. He expects me to do all the housework (cooking, cleaning, décor, maintenance, admin, etc. New comments cannot be posted. I dont Boyfriend invites me to a wedding and then expects me to pay for half the hotel room, fair? Just asking, if someone invited you to attend a wedding. pay. I just lost it last Monday and demanded an answer from her. I’ve moved out with my current fiancé, and she wonders why I never visit. If she did, the fact that her boy toy didn't have a car and didn't do all of the chores in the household would be further proof that he's a piece of shit and his struggling with school further proof that he isn't good enough for her. I asked if everything was okay with his job, or if he needed to take fewer hours, and he wouldn't answer me. She doesn’t even offer to pay. There was a time he was making more than me but we’ve My niece has a friend who married a man just like your boyfriend. He’s used to paying for every single thing every single time. He has 1 large long hair dog and a cat. I dated a girl that made the exact same amount of money as me and I paid for the majority of things. In October my [27M] girlfriend [27F] and I had our 2 year anniversary. She told me with her moving into her apartment I Reasons why your boyfriend wants you to pay for everything? Your boyfriend wants you to pay for everything because you have been keeping up with his tantrums without a hitch. she also told me to prepare to pay the bills when I come home this summer since she plans to spend it at her boyfriends house. I agree that she is being unreasonable. And two, don't feel like I should do that even if I could. She expects that in a partnership, I should make food for her kid and feed/walk her pets when she’s had We did not live together at that time. But thats because WE’VE TALKED ABOUT IT. Controversial. He would assume that I would pay even if he offered to go out most of the time. I don’t have a problem with the idea of splitting the bills that way and there would not be an issue if we were My Boyfriend Is Making Me Pay Him Back For Everything, Can He Make Me Do That? I have been in my current relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. My dad makes more than my mom, but all the money is just lumped together. 43 M. He was actually really forthcoming and laid pretty much everything out. FYI, the company is non existent. They both shed non-stop, more so the cat because he lays on everything . BF (28/M) expects me to pay high ticket prices for concert (24/F) even though I lost my job. A relative’s birthday is coming up and I told her I’d be paying for myself and my son (14y) and that my boyfriend was paying for himself. Share Sort by: Best. He would also be annoyed when I stopped paying and used to make us split the bill. I’ve tried my dang hardest to pitch in on multiple occasions, but he refuses. I graduated from college recently and got a job, and my bf and I decided it was time to move in together. No working woman would pay for everything for her student boyfriend. I wouldn't do it for fun. It was provided to me by my employer. If she is living in a an apartment, she does not need a washer/dryer. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem spending money on her. He has never made me feel like he had ownership over me because of things he’s bought me or paid for. am I supposed to pay? Should I pay? I’m a woman, recently I’ve been paying for everything for a family friend who seems to expect it from me. Top. I understand that. She never ordered anything cheap either. See if the girl will offer to pay or at least split the bill after that. But the thing is, I didn’t grow up spoilt. Let’s get straight to it. It is bad enough that she doesn’t pay her way, but I am really struggling to believe that she is stealing from me. Her response to me is always “ I don't want her to be happy”, and every "no" is followed by a fight “I expects the man to pay for everything and take care of me”. My (f39) boyfriend (m29) has seemingly stopped talking to me since this Tuesday just gone all because I was very reluctant to fork out the money to book & pay for a hotel room in our home town so that we could be together. It's not terrible, but it's strenuous. Hell when she went with me to send me off to my college across the country from home, 'I' was expected to pay for our rental car and hotel for 2. And honestly I resent hearing that there are guys out there who only have to show up and the girl handles everything. She always makes me go with him to pay the bills and Posted by u/PositiveOnion801 - No votes and 2 comments Hello. If he offers to pay that would be nice but I don't expect him to pay every single time. I can’t afford this at all and don’t know what to do. I've always felt uncomfortable having dates or really anyone pay for me. Expecting to pay for friends and random gifts from wishlists are BIG red flags. This can work if both partners are good with money, earn about the same salary, have similar debt levels, and To have a healthy relationship, there are a number of things it's not OK for your partner to ask of you. This dude has quite the I asked him once if he felt guilty when I pay for him, and he said no because we’re in a relationship and we’ve got each other’s back. They She asked me if we can hang out tonight or talk on the phone that she’s been going through it and needs my support. But the one issue im having is that he always lets me pay for things whenever we go out. I like him a lot, but he's a trust fund kid, and my mom found out. He always finds a reason to "convince" me not to. I work full-time and make a good salary. So yeah, my dad is probably paying like 70% of the grocery bill. She never offers to pay for anything, never buys us anything etc. S. Although he makes around 2. Apparently this make me the bad guy. I only pay 175 a month but I also have my own place I still pay for until I find someone to take lever the lease. We have been dating for 3 months now and she expects me to pay for everything where ever we go or what ever we do together. I mean look at it, she expects this now after a year so I can only imagine what she might expect when you would be married/have a family. Knowing where to draw the line when it comes to behaviors can help ensure that your No. So i confronted her about it and she told me how she's mad at me for hiding money from her and literally started crying I am from Baltics and my girlfriend is partly Russian. Is this normal that this girl always expects me to pay for her? She always messages me throughout My boyfriend is fairly sensitive and takes issue with certain things I say or do to an unreasonable extent imo. He always came off as a misogynistic prick due to things he would I don't think it's bad, really. She doesn't really She now just expects me to pay for her for the full night and said I'm being unfair by offering to lend her the money instead. We have been living together since the . 0 coins. I asked her why it was my responsibility to pay. So receiving things without paying people back or doing something in return makes me very uncomfortable. I sleep there most nights and spend Yes, we both can afford to live alone, but during quarantine it’s hard because no socializing/ going out / seeing anyone will be difficult for me/ him. If I go grocery shopping, I pay the bill and then my boyfriend will then pay me back exactly half the amount. She wants me to pay for all the dates and we’re together for like 10 months. Some context: She doesnt have a car, I do. She made similar accusations about me not paying for things (even though I am pretty certain it was a 75/25 breakdown in my favor). We started dating a month and a half ago. I'll keep cash and a debit card on me so I can pay for myself, but I'll let them pay if they insist. She's not asking for a lot when she does (maybe for me), but it’s just not a good feeling that the relationship looks like it’s conditional. My comment to her was the same as my comment to you-- You are in a lopsided relationship, and that Now that I’m on my way to a 6 figure career, my boyfriend expects me to take over the house bills so that he can start a business and quit his job. She also works, but I think she wants me to take on this role because I am the man in the relationship. It sounds like he's using you. I do want to spoil her and make her feel good but I don’t feel like it’s cool when I pay for everything. Woman’s perspective here - it makes me uncomfortable for a man to pay for everything all the time as it ends up feeling like I owe him in other ways, whether that’s putting out or whatever. In late February, I got a boyfriend. Expects people to buy everything for her because she will find someone else who pay for everything. I mean in previous dates/relationships girls at least just offered to pay which i declined and paid for them, to what they would just buy me some drinks, etc. My boyfriend is very much an acts of service fellow and for him, I think asking me to grab him a glass or water or something is the same thing as me asking for a hug Mine is shared and my husband earns more so we don't have these types of conversation. And its not just that I pay , its that he assumes I will just pay for EVERYTHING I had a friend like this and I eventually called her out on it because she expected me to pay every time we hang out. We live together. I don't know how these guys can seriously thing all women are gold diggers when even the ones with decent jobs refuse to pay rent. Would you be expected to pay for half of the hotel room? Or is this guy being cheap? Personally I rather not go to the wedding but I’ve accepted the invitation as a courtesy. I got a place and when he got out, he came and lived with me. She has a young daughter and 4 pets who have obviously moved in with her. But she always expects me to pay for her whenever we go. It’s been a rocky relationship recently, but I think the biggest issue is that he always expects me to pay for things. He compares my 8-hour workday to his and shames me for spending time watching Netflix or doing other 'unproductive stuff,' instead of cooking dinner for him. My boyfriend pays for a lot more things than I do, he also makes more than me and says no I got it. She asked me to pay half and I said that's a lot of money. If she can't then, I don't know, you need to reevaluate your relationship. We both have jobs on campus and are students, but he insists on paying. I expect him to pay for everything when we have kids. I don’t really feel comfortable doing so. I made literally 1/3 of his pay and he expected me to pay for everything (like trips that he wanted to go on. is a key thing for me. If she doesn’t want to pay then she’s just using you and walk away. Today she sent me a ‘bill’ she expects me to pay each month while i’m at school which consists of my portion of car insurance, phone bill, and other living expenses coming out to 250 a month. But unless he makes way more than you and you're struggling financially, I wouldn't expect him to pay for dates. Your boyfriend is 7 years older than me and still expects to be babied. During our relationship, he has been to jail twice, both times for putting his hands on me. She keeps telling me Because of this, I can be easily taken advantage of and be “too nice” and feel immense guilt for not doing everything I can for others. I will be honest I did have to talk him out of him wanting me to pay rent at first although I explained to him that I wished to do the chores around the house instead, I also made very A month ago I met a girl who's in her early 30s. You should be clear with your boyfriend that you dont want to pay anymore. We were just friends and never dated and were not interested in dating. You need to But had no problem telling me her dinner and drink orders, finding expensive restaurants on yelp and when we went grocery shopping I had to buy extra gluten free things (she doesn’t have celiac). Her boyfriend would get off on the fact that he bought her everything and would brag to me about it, as would she. Hell for my gf I didnt even have to have a conversation, she pretty much paid for everything since I was out of job and when I realized what a hit shed takin financially I felt super bad and moved back into my parents, now I have a job She was really embarrassed, and I offered to pay. I painted the entire house, remodeled the kitchen, changed fixtures, installed insulation, etc on my own. I know this varies around the world but where I am the bride and groom or maybe their family pays for the venue and food. 5 times more than me but makes me pay for half of rent, half of groceries (even though he eats 75% more), and half of HIS storage unit. ) She is expected to pay all bills and do all housework, while he --- does nothing I guess. She'd act like she had no money and after I'd pay she'd go shopping. Before I moved in, he used to order food every day but now he expects me to cook and makes me feel obligated to do so. While this is the strongest possibility, matters of the heart must be My mother was the same, but only to me it seems, not my sisters and their boyfriends. Take charge. Members Online • LordzTJ. Turns out it was a wedding invitation, not personally from her, but from her coordinator inviting me to their wedding. For background, I plan to move in with him in a few months. Sometimes he lets me take him out and I pay for our dates although that took some getting used to for him lol. We own a business together in my name and operate it out of our tiny You are enjoying a female privilege without recognizing it. He has this idea that if he wasn't with me he wouldn't be eating in this place or that, he wouldn't be Some couples find that paying half of everything in a marriage works well - that's part of their financial plan. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. We do not live together. It's not that he's financially struggling -he should recommend activities within his budget and not ask for fancy stuff. Mine is untreated because doctors don’t listen to women where I live, so I had to come up with my own coping skills to be a functioning adult. because I earn significantly more than my GF. I've always told the guys I dated "I'm with you cus I My Boyfriend Expects Me To Pay For Everything – 20 Reasons 1. It's about These days I’m married to a man who loves and respects me. The fact that you DONT have income, AND she expects you to pay for everything is complete, utter nonsense. It’s just not part Today she sent me a ‘bill’ she expects me to pay each month while i’m at school which consists of my portion of car insurance, phone bill, and other living expenses coming out to 250 a month. Q&A. I told her that I have plans tonight with my boyfriend and if I have time I’ll call her later. I didn’t mind so much in the summer when I It’s just different for me because my ex-boyfriend was really cheap and didn’t want to like pay for most things he always wanted me to like splits or something so I think it’s just kind of weird for me to have a guy wanting to pay for everything and just wanting me to just relax So, I started to say no. Also, next time she goes out with friends, I suggest you don't go, and don't give her money for it. I can buy 2 weeks groceries with that. She's a student who can travel for free, the bus stop is a 1minute walk from her appartment. Premium Powerups Explore Gaming. I have a simmilar situation with my boyfriend, he expects something nice for his birthdays, but the rest of the year he's actually very generous, as I have a significantly lower income than him and he offers to pay for me anytime we go out to eat or shopping if I can't pay for myself. During that time he has neglected doing chores and expects dinner to be ready Advertisement Coins. He calls me selfish, says we've invested too much, etc. She got mad. I have no relationship experience beforehand. I buy her things and take her out when I can, but I feel like it should be a mutual thing. She always did his laundry in our apartment (even though he didn’t live there and 3 people did) and she always cooked for him. [UPDATE] My super rich boyfriend lets me pay for everything and never takes me out in public. I have no problem letting my boyfriends pay for stuff, because at another time when the check comes I'll be the one paying or that's how it used to (32f) My family expects my boyfriend (33m) to pay for me, especially if we all go out as a family once they see I am paying my own tab. In my experience it's rare that a woman would expect the boyfriend to pay for hair and nails. ADMIN MOD My girlfriend is telling me to buy her everything she needs and If I don’t I’m not a real man. I’m 24. I was very impressed by my boyfriend. And I want her to be If she scoffs or expects you to pay for her then you can safely move on. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. We went on many dates and I had to pay not even leave a tip or anything. I really dont understand why she wants me to pay for literally everything. Paying for her My boyfriend and I have been together for about five years. Best. But when I was “on my own” & dating healthily I saw how toxic parts of THAT sub was. Just comes down to your values if you are ok with that. Cigarettes, food, spare change, weed etc. My boyfriends house stresses me out. He also made over 200k as a dentist. Things are mostly good, we share a lot of interests and rarely ever quarrel, he's a genuinely very sweet and good man however recently I have come to a realization that one thing he does really bugs me. P. He used his unemployment to pay me back for the months he did not pay rent when he first moved in with me. Recently, I tried breaking up with him again. You summed up everything I"ve wanted to say in a way I couldn't. Honestly I got out of a toxic relationship of 5 years bc of a sub on here that pumped me up mentally. I handle all of our finances as well. Together 3 years intermittently (as he left me a few times) and not currently living together. Drinks we use his card for the bill, I tip (well) in cash. If we go somewhere he doesn’t even ask if I can pay, he just expects me to do it I have a friend who is currently paying her boyfriend's mortgage while the boyfriend refuses to work. I pick her up from her house and we drive back together to my house. For context, we are Boyfriend expects me to cook every meal, how do I put my foot down? submitted by Rtukldn Friends have told me to ‘just cook for myself’ but this causes extreme awkwardness and a lot of the time he has chipped in for food shopping and will bring that up so I can’t do that. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I believe I might be the asshole because I certainly COULD pay for all our household expenses, but believe my wife should pay some of them as a sign of shared If someone I only just met expects me to pay for the pleasure of their company, I don't foresee this person engaging with me in a mutually respectful relationship where we are equals and equally share the burden in the future. To me it looks like you will be expected to pay for about everything. want. We broke up, everything was in his name abd he owed me thousands in rent and I had to leave. She didn’t take advantage as much then, but lately I have noticed things going missing. I don't enjoy what I do. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: TL;DR: Boyfriend has 0 work history, isn't in school and is bringing in money by his mom slipping him cash every week and it's bugging the hell out of me. But I'd definitely feel bad saving thousands every month with her just barely scraping by. There’s no website, LLC, paperwork. My ex said the same things your ex said. my father is an Boyfriend (28M) spends his whole paycheck on frivolous purchases, then expects me (28F) to pick up the tab on everything as soon as he is broke. Would far rather split everything equally and then treat each other to dates/ gifts/ trips when it feels right. Since I told her I wouldn't be able to pay for her any more she hardly contacts me. When you're actually a couple and you do pay for her then it actually means something rather than just an empty gesture done out of a feeling of obligation. I know I probably sound rude, but I'm trying to go to college, and also spend my money on, you know, myself. and make me fork over hundreds of dollars) but would buy me Get the Reddit app Scan this We live 19 hours a part and she expects me to pay for her ticket. See how she Whenever we go out, she expects me to pay the bill. Use the laundromat, I do. Forcing a 50/50 mentality is not a romantic relationship, its a business relationship and it isn't She is a heavy cannabis user, and got me into smoking occasionally too, although I do not do it as regularly as she does. This makes me vulnerable to abuse. My bf let me stay with him. Aside from paying the rent, food, and everything, which is fine and makes sense, the fact that I need to pay for trivial things (trivial to me but "very important" to her), is what drains me inside, and makes me fill down really. We are both un our 30s and doing ok financially, and i find it really stingy to do the whole "just pay for what you had" thing. Some examples of things I need to pay include: - Hair cut / color / treatment, 250 dollars every 2 months I’m happy to serve and support him with my labors of love and he is understanding and happy to help when need be. So really, just need to communicate and develop realistic goals and plans with each other. Thoughts? Archived post. I feel bad for being distant but I feel like she never helps me when I need her but expects me to help her when she needs it. For those of you who have been following along, turns out he had many women in his life and I was just one of many side pieces. As the "bread winner", you pay the unfair share. Since then I’ve spent 300$ on her. He doesn’t have ADHD, but I do. "You're my boyfriend and should pay for everything" is stuck up and unrealistic, to put it bluntly, and the relationship won't 30 votes, 11 comments. I’ve started to avoid eating around him so I don’t have to cook I agree I mean if she had said you pay rent I pay utilities and we split cost on food and living needs fine. To make it even worse I think a lot of his money came from his parents. 11M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. I asked him once if he felt guilty when I pay for him, and he said no because we’re in a relationship and we’ve got each other’s back. This doesnt include the times we take turns paying for takeout/delivery. He’s mad at me because he says no one supports him But were it me, I wouldn't travel without my long term SO. The issue is, we live in an apartment together that I pay for. For me, a partner who doesn't pay half the bills isn't worth keeping around. It wasn't a big deal at all, but she's the kind of girl who'll make it a big deal. His house was a gift from his mother on his 18th AITA for refusing to pay rent to my boyfriend? Asshole My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and are discussing moving in together. I don’t know what to do. I went home that day only to find an extra ten in my wallet. Reddit. Girlfriend expects me to pay for every date we ever go on and I need I don’t agree with the notion of the man should be paying for every single outing and I make sure that my boyfriend and I usually take turns paying or I will offer to pay for an She comes from a rich family and has daddy pay for everything she wants. Otherwise it feels like an unwelcome This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. Normally, we split things almost 50/50, but he’ll treat me to nice dinners and cover a few miscellaneous things while we’re out together Tl;dr: who should pay for plane tickets when visiting one person’s friends? Edit: clarity and bolding Edit #2: I want to clarify that I don’t expect my SO to pay for my part on normal vacations. There is one problem, she expects me to pay for everything, I mean everything. He’s 26 and wouldn’t even drink water unless I nagged him to do so. I don't feel the need to pay for the pleasure of your Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Not gonna lie, this would be a huge red flag for me relationship wise. to. Old. Everybody expects him to fail and he doesn't want to fulfill that profecy. They don't HAVE to pay for me so when they do it's like "Aww, thank you for the dinner, it was super yummy :)" or whatever. I pay all the rent, my boyfriend lives with me and my name is on the lease. He My boyfriend portrayed himself as an independent person, but about 8 months ago he started slipping up with his cover. My boyfriend [29M] invited me [25F] You said yourself you split everything 50/50. When we didn't share but lived together and he made slightly more, we would split bills evenly but everything else was a you get me now and i'll cover you later. My guess is that your boyfriend is scared. ) as well as childcare if we ever have children. Because of this my boyfriend expects me to pay for everything in our relationship. He was using me. My boyfriend is 22. That $600 is 1/3 of the rent on our small 1 bedroom apartment and I cover the rest. Could she technically afford to pay 50% of everything on her salary? Sure, but she'd pretty much save nothing for her/our future. Long story short she set up dinner with me, her, and 5 members of her family. But she thinks I’m supposed to, “as a man should” pay for EVERYTHING and she only worry about taking care of her child. If we go somewhere he doesn’t even ask if I can pay, he just expects me to do it My (25f) boyfriend (26m) and I have been together for about 10 months. To me that’s being less of a man. After we discussed this, my bf informed me that I had to pay rent to live in his place. He owns his home but still has mortgage payments to make on it. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship My boyfriend (30m) of 1 year is always asking me (28f) for money. My boyfriend (M27) and I (F25) have been together for 3 years. Is My boyfriend makes a lot more than me and is used to a more lavish way of life. Hey, i have a really nice boyfriend and he treats me well. He too had a mother that did everything. Maybe he might become clear with his financial situation on why he cant afford to pay for most of the dates. Reply reply foldrmap • I don't think we could possibly help you. Admittedly my family has more wealth but I just cannot seem to look at this person like more than a beggar. Boyfriend (25) expects me (22f) to adapt to him, bit refuses to make changes himself. She has been brought up by a single mother after age of 14, who's husband always used paid for her. I said no because my name isn’t on the house. It genuinely makes him upset when I pay for things on my own. I understand holding traditional views, but you literally cannot afford to. My mother passed away last year and I received an inheritance. Thats what a relationship is. Posted by u/One_Island5746 - 1 vote and no comments TL;DR - I told my girlfriend she needs to use her words if she wants me to do something because I'm not a mind reader and can't know she needs help or wants me to clean if she doesn't say something. He expected Haley to do all the cooking and cleaning while she held down 2 jobs to pay down the credit card debt the both got into. The marriage lasted less than 2 years. Not me. guy im seeing expects me to pay for everything? quick explanation: I’ve been seeing this guy for two months and in the beginning we had been on a few food dates. For my boyfriend to be so willing to cancel plans with me with little to no notice "because his dad will be mad at him" is degrading I pay slightly over ⅔ of rent, utilities, groceries etc. He is not currently working (sabbatical) but when he I do everything around the house and I mean everything. It’s got to the point where every single time we hang out together, she expects me to pay for everything- fuel to drive out to pick her up, food, cigarettes, and of course weed. I don't have an extra $100 to drop on a single dinner. I don't know that she's being malicious, but you're at least subconsciously being tested. What we usually did was split the bill. She offered to pay me back, and tried to throw some money at me the next day, but the sandwich was like five bucks, it really wasn't a big deal. Her trip left a bad taste in my mouth. You should pay for your own tickets or don’t go I don’t think he should have to pay, I get invited to eat with friends, but I don’t expect them to pay for me, I mean, it’s nice if I want to prefix this by saying that we don't live together, but are planning to do so in late summer/early autumn of this year. She treated me one time but then complained to me 2 weeks later that she had to pay for it sadly. I have my own money so I can pay for my things. He cooks for me once every 1-2 months. He wants us to split all household bills 50-50. She needs to understand this. We've been dating for about a month and my problem is he pays for every single date. He NEVER pays for anything, he always makes me pay. She ended up telling me that I embarrassed her in front of her friends by not paying for everyone. If she refuses then tell her she’s covering the next one. And when I say everything I mean everything. zib povi ugedzmn nore zyidd hyyjg glccff yenumk xhs hrrmlv