In love with someone in a relationship reddit When in a relationship, I agree with what's already been said in the thread about listening. If anything were to happen in the future, I'd be ecstatic. It's only in the past couple of decades that society has decided that this is just horrible in every singe case and no one should ever date anyone that was their mentor. To this day, I'm pretty convinced that it wouldn't be easy to build that with someone, and have shied away from other relationships because even though there are plenty of good things about other women that I've loved, I haven't even come close to falling that deeply in love with someone. People always like to define love as something just from their POV and not take into account of how the other person thinks or feels about it. Love is a really hard thing to pin down. What makes someone fall in love with you is complicated, but usually the effort and ingenuity you expand on there behalf and your seductive capabilities, then after the "love" (hahaha) if your heart and character is worthy they may love you forever whether you're together or not. Love is death; it’s more deathly than death, cus when two people truly love each other, they’re so close that there’s no ego; the ego is in danger and that’s why we’re so fearful about it. If temptation creeps in, you ought to remove yourself. A few months later he messaged me and told me he was single, but I was in a relationship and was happy at the time. I know it sounds crazy but I love this woman as much as anyone else in my life. I have, however, developed feelings for someone. I also don't think the potential other relationship is relevant - people often see it as some kind of "punishment" of the one who broke off the ltr for it if the new relationship doesn't work out. Weather here is nice. S. The ultimate goal: to get to love number #3 (our twin flame). Yes! I’m so happy that you found someone that respects and loves you as you deserve. My dad was an extreme extrovert and could make friends with anyone instantly. No, long distance relationships aren't real. However I imagine odds are being aro ace would negatively impact their ability to sustain a relationship of that nature. Not everyone with BPD is abusive for crying out loud. It was the most rewarding relationship of my whole life and there was absolutely no pressure. And sometimes, you meet someone who feels the same way. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Yea true, that’s pretty much what I meant tbh. We had been friends since childhood, but we decided to move in together and I’d say we were in best friend love. You never over-expect. It’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason. ” I love him, I really do. Going off that notion, I used to be one of those people who also believed, "You can't possibly love someone else, unless you love yourself first!" If someone is in a relationship, you don't randomly make contact and be like "Hey, just thought you should know, I have feelings for you/I am in love with you. The responsible people I know who suffer from depression are obsessive about good diet and regular exercise. The feelings never went away though and every day we were apart (7 effing years) we fought like hell for our relationship. Some people have to learn these lessons the hard way, I was one of them. when i admitted my feelings for him we hooked up and i told him i loved him, and he told me he loves me. It just means exactly that, it's unfortunately not reciprocated. " It's more of a situation where I become close friends with someone else, and only then am I able to have feelings for someone else and find them attractive. Don’t string him along as a back up plan in case you make a misstep monkey branching from this relationship into the next. There's nothing more painful than seeing your love with someone else. If you're wanting us to do things like sleep in the bed next to you or spend every waking moment with you, then no. Polyamory is openly, honestly, and consensually loving and being committed to more than one person. It’s really not a reflection on the partner. They are more worried about whether or not someone will like them than they are about figuring out if this is a relationship they actually want and someone they’re compatible with. You will fall in love again one day but you have to understand there's only 1 of a person so there's no point in comparing. if you want I can and have taken it on other forums and I probably deserve that and worse Archived post. Now she’s dealing with serious depression and she gained a whole bunch of weight because reality hit her. If you are her best friend, she might love you platonically, but not romantically. This exercise teaches us how to navigate marriage when we get there. Do you tell the person you love them or do you keep it to yourself? Mar 17, 2024 · Even though you may be in a relationship with someone for years, there may come a time when you realize you actually were never in love with them. Chief. Love is unconditional. My ex broke up with me cause we had different point of views on the subject of love, she believes love should always be that fantasy-esque kind of love and if you loae that feeling then the person doesn't matter, I believe love is the love like you explain two people who understand each other and love the person through good and bad that they should talk about what bothers them and work on it Start showing them both some respect and come clean. I don't like how it's sold as this pinnacle of human experience that everyone must experience and it's the best thing ever and life isn't worth living Hi y’all, So, looking back at my relationship history it dawned on me that my pattern is I’ll go through long stretches of emotional indifference, complete lack of interest in romantic relationships, and then I meet someone and BAM we click and it’s off to the races and is intense and intoxicating and nearly all consuming. If you are already socially anxious, then imagining speaking to the love of your life must be terrifying. I've seen it over and over again people being all into someone they know solely through messaging/online, then when they meet in person, there's just not that "spark" they thought there would be. You said you love your girlfriend but you say you are in love with your friend and haven't slept for days because of her . They will love all of you. I would really love to understand what it is like to be in a relationship with someone you've never met in person, as most of what I have to go on is what I've seen in Catfish and I'm sure that that's not a fair representation at all. So how exactly would people in that sub reddit give an objective advice? They don't know OP's love interest & how that person is handling their BPD. It's easier to look for love and validation outside yourself than it is to give yourself love and validation. I have personally found that I have all four loves toward my spouse at different times, and sometimes one or more take precedence. I think I could love him and be in love with him so to speak but don’t know if there’s any point to all of this if he can’t reciprocate. It’s definitely not like neurotypical love, because as you’ve pointed out, without empathy and you can’t have true love. I don't know weather to wait for her or let her go Coz I really love her But knowing everyday I'm hurting my self seeing her loving someone else Now my mind and feeling are fuckedup. You have to remember not all relationships or loves are the same, you don't love people the same way, each relationship in itself is unique. It depends what you define as a romantic relationship. Redditors who are in relationships but in love with someone else, why are you still living the life you lead? Question was not asked to invoke guilt or anything. Anecdotal evidence as someone in a long-term relationship with another aspie, but two people who are really rigid in their structure and life can struggle to be the one that accommodates the other. Lately I’ve been really wanting to get into a relationship with someone. There are plenty of reasons some people choose to stick in a toxic relationship. This is a healthy exercise to refine your behavior/emotions. There are two kinds of open relationships. A relationship should be an experience, sharing a bond, a friendship, becoming family, working together and build a future, that’s what a relationship should always be like! Someone who makes you feel really comfortable, someone who lets you be yourself, be silly with, enjoy the small things in life, someone you can text and tell them omg I If you love him, work on your relationship , if you don’t love your boyfriend, just leave him. So for people who previously were in a toxic relationship, how does it feel to be in a healthy relationship now? I was in a 3 year toxic relationship with another girl. It’s like they want the perks of a relationship without the commitment. There's the secret. A lot of my friends have been in serious relationships and I’ve been single for a couple years now. I'm sure there are plenty of situations that are as you described -- someone not really knowing all of someone else -- but I think it's pretty presumptuous to say that you can never really know a person's good and bad unless you've been in a relationship with them. Controlling your feelings, has a lot to do with learning how to react to impulse. You are certainly correct in your assessment- she IS using you to fill the void her BF is leaving open. Lots of people think love is only that dizzy/crazy feeling that I call 'falling in love' Sometime around date 3, maybe 4 talk about "What to you mean by love? I really need to know, because I don't think I understand it. And Savannah is just caught in the middle, probably thinking she's met someone new and nice and compatible and he's secretly in a relationship. We made a plan, 3 years ago, to meet up and he cancelled the day before. They might both leave you tbh. "to be loved be lovable". O. Psychopaths love people in a similar fashion. We lived happily that way until her death two years ago. Empaths need someone who understands and respects that they feel overloaded and tired often and not take their tiredness personally. No exceptions. We were both in a relationship with other people at the time. Someone could be in a relationship that they’re really happy with and still be struggling badly with depression. They need a relationship in which they can grow and develop. We learn how to control our feelings as toddlers: when we get told no after wanting something most adults don’t throw fits when they don’t get what they want because we’ve learned how to control our reactions and temper the way we feel. that's likea really good question. It's based on newness and securing an attachment. So many people (especially women) look past red flags because they get hung up on the idea of giving people chances. Was on a business trip and fell in love with a coworker. Truth is, relationships can be mentally draining in some form or the other and there have been times in my life where I've felt like I couldn't carry the load of being somebody's partner. Sometimes the deeper relationship leads to the horniness which leads to a deeper relationship but you get it. So when Reddit user u/ThrowRAyz asked the See full list on hellogiggles. Well then, in the next 5 days i spend with her, i completely fell in love with her, i love her personality, she's beautiful and we share a lot of interests, but ofc i have a girlfriend so i just tried to brush it off and enjoy the last moments i had with her. I think I have disorganized attachment and have become more secure through my relationship. So you're in love, but the person you're in love with is in a relationship with someone else. We will end up resenting you instead. You’ve asked her countless times to not contact him and she still does. Love takes work and if you're in a relationship but working on love with someone else - thats a problem. Time for throwaways! I know some people say it’s wrong to get into a relationship while being in love with someone else but what am I meant to do in the meantime? Havingba girlfriend is awesome and I don’t wanna be lonely. that being said; it definitely takes some time to actually love someone Also you cant exactly force someone to love you, its not how it works. Also I have been in a similar-ish I have never fallen in love with someone while I was in a relationship. He was always genuinely interested in getting to know people, and maybe some people interpreted that as flirting, but it wasn’t. My mom is extremely Confront him. Empaths love with all their heart. That being said, in my experience my head only really turned for other people when I was deeply unhappy and unsatisfied in my relationship. Might get married in future but again I have to wait for 4 5 year. do long distance with someone that is willing to make some sacrifices, doesnt get fed up by little things, and can show thank you! when people say things like "i will never love someone like my first love" - yes! correct! sun will never feel the same as it did when you were 10yrs old at the lake/beach. TL:DR: Relationship with current (long-distance) relationship is tough because she's kind of lazy and I only see her every 14 days. You’ve caught her. When you’re “in love” with someone else, you cannot truly fall for another person. the second time i had been best friends with the guy for years, and i loved him as a friend. But, whenever I see another attractive woman, I feel uneasy inside, I get intrusive thoughts, I get uncomfortable, distracted and my heart rate goes through the roof. I also found what I value in a long term relationship and made sure to cut ties with people who didn’t align with what my priorities were. I mean, there's seven billion people on the planet. How many people come on relationship_advice & write about their cheating partners? Violent partners? Lazy partners? Almost 99% of this sub. I've read it said that if people knew how much we thought about the people we love (at the beginning phase,) then they'd consider it almost an obsession. He knew I had feelings for him and he’d always say he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet we’d act super couply when we were together and I always had this dumb hope that maybe he’d change his mind if I treated him well enough. There is no going back now. I hope that makes sense. It’s also not meant to be chaotic. Its a tough choice but everyone has to do it. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. I can appreciate how other people are attractive, yes but not in the sense that I find myself thinking I’d sleep with him. However, someone can love people in other ways without romantic attraction or even be in a loving romantic relationship without romantic attraction. They love with passion, with pureness, with authenticity. I do too. Stop believing in shit like that . dont do long distance with someone your just in love with. It sucks He lied, and in my honest opinion I think the woman he cheated with didn't really want to leave her husband , so he came back to you, because he wasn't getting what he wanted. With just mere chance of getting her in my life. I'd like to be able to do never-met relationships proud in my book, but I just don't fully understand. Our relationship follows his moodswings, when he feels great he tells me that I am the love of his life. never dated someone i was already friends with, although i've had a few confess to having crushes on me. I understand that you want the old relationship back, but unfortunately that ship has already sailed. That being said, if you feel like you are in love with someone outside of your relationship, you need to choose. No matter which choice you make you will be missing out on something . It happened to my best friend and she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend of the time. I've told myself many times that I'm too horrible. Your heart isn’t going to turn back for your partner. ” One could reasonably argue it still is falling in love, TL;DR: I don't think someone can "fall in love" without romantic attraction, since I think the attraction is implied by the term. One of the biggest misconceptions is that psychopaths lack emotion. So idk it takes a lot to make an international long distance relationship work, but you only have one life and you get to choose how you want to live it. So grab some wine, sit down with someone you want to love or get to know! In Greek for example, you have storge, which means affection; filia, which means familial love or brotherly love; eros, which means erotic love; and agape, which means unconditional, unending love. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Repeat exposure to someone being supportive especially in difficult time is helpful. Also, for me I think a lot of snuggling has been good. I think in fact, if you really loved this man you would realize and respect what he seeks and needs in love or a relationship. We are excellent at communicating with eachother, try to facetime every day, text eachother throughout the day, and we vistit eachother about 4 to 5 times every year. Love can turn into hate if someone makes a mistake, things can get tense. I am sorry this happened to you. She’s clearly not remorseful and has no regard for your feelings. They gradually get more toxic a little bit at a time over time sort of like a frog in a pot that has a low heat under it slowly being brought to boil. Am I a pussy? Possibly. Love makes you say and do things you’ll never thought you do, you only want what’s best for the other person even if it meant it’s not with you. (Or make your love even stronger). Like, I don't see someone and think "dang, they're hot, I want them. These two things are interrelated. Being in love with someone for 13 years is insane . There's a lot of touchy-feely flirting between us but I just can't make that move to encourage her infidelity. Cut contact and get therapy . What truly makes someone a shitty person is how they go about making that choice. I think I’m ready to take that step with someone, given everything falls into place correctly. A lot of people. For example, you could be a racial, cultural, and/or religious minority, or of a non-majority sexual orientation where you live, and automatically that will impact your chances, because people are excluding/filtering you out, or Sould mates don't exist . Not saying at 5 or 6 months you are either it could be earlier or later just many people rush into love and then break up 3 months later I personally don't se3 that as real love. Every single person on the planet has to make a choice in relationships, stay with the person you are with or go try someone new. Tell him you need to talk about something important and that you’d like him not to interrupt until you’re finished. For anyone considering(but not seeking), currently in, or who used to be, this is the community for you! I'm happily in love with my SO. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I’d love some advice. I'd be wary of trying to have a long term relationship with someone who has a health issue she isn't interested in dealing with or talking to you about. It was one of those toxic relationships where you guys can’t stand each other for real and snap at each other but try to monopolize the person. Unfortunately mental illnesses don’t just disappear once you’re in a relationship. The beloved becomes the subject of every thought and every whim. I have close friends whose faults I'm very familiar with. People make a lot of mistakes by confusing the two. There are so many factors out of people's control that make love and relationships so difficult to obtain for some. there will always be that first piece of art that connected with you and changed you. He has depressive episodes, then suddenly he is superhappy. How well you get along in chatting online has zero correlation with how well you get along in person. Also get tested for STD, make sure he didn't give you anything. You cannot really blame the May 16, 2010 · We're talking about being in love or falling in love with another person, which I think most people would consider as emotional infidelity (or, at least, is a good sign of it). There are situations where it is ok to get into a relationship with someone younger even if the older person is a bit of a mentor. Although not everything is perfect in any relationship, just as long as you can come back to the person and know things are better there than anywhere else is a real comfort. Toxic relationships usually do not start out toxic. At least in my life I know my friends expect things from their partners that I'd never be able to provide so it would take (at minimum) another aro ace person for me to have the slightest chance to be able to satisfy them in a partnership arrangement. 137 votes, 152 comments. it just felt right Ok, here's my perspective. You don’t feel in love and you’d have to put forward a lot of effort and focus to rebuild your bond. And then sometimes you're unlucky. And that if I ever have someone love me, then most certainly, it's not real. You're just great friends! Liking each other is very different from the commercialised pornified "love" that we reference these days. Love is not being able to imagine a life where I'm happy without him. The main issue in our relationship has been his mood swings, it's like a rollercoaster. Yeah, a lot of people can find people outside of the relationship attractive in some way. Just so happened to meet the love of my life and now I live with him and our kitten and I am the happiest I've ever been in my life 💕 Rekindling my first relationship didn't work out well for me but did help bring me to where I am now and I will always be grateful for that. all of my relationships from childhood till now have exclusively been with girls/women that I had just met and immediately clicked with and jumped straight into dating. Now doubting whether I should call my relationship quits to pursue any future endeavors, or at least regain some 'freedom'. If someone I'm IN LOVE with says they're going away and I'll never see them again I'm lost I mean -- I have people that I know very intimately that I haven't dated. If you're wanting someone to fiercely love you, then yes. I will never regret leaving a terrible relationship for "the one" and I'm not ashamed about it. People are drawn to people who are grounded and have their own thing going on/passionate about things. It's generally only a problem if they act on it. As long as you're willing to truly sacrifice yourself to someone and love them unconditionally, you will find someone. She's perfect. That's not what he has. I just can't attempt anything because of her relationship status and because we work so closely together. I don't think you are doing anyone a favor by hanging in there out of commitment. That they’re not good enough to make them happy, etc etc. We're both 33 yo and a bit over a year into the relationship. But one day, you're gonna meet someone who appreciates you for who you are. Even if the love you have for someone isn't reciprocated, it doesn't mean that you don't love them. If someone I LOVE says that they're going away and may never see me again, I'm sad. Hopefully both of you mind your business and don't do some dumb shit . Ofc you can. No, I get comfortable and close to some people but never love. See ya" You're seriously overstepping some boundaries there. The New York Times lists 36 questions you can ask someone if you want to fall in love. So I know the feeling. She’s in love with someone else. I want to be around people a good bit of the time and I really love them but I need to be able to retreat. But for me personally I’m not really attracted to other people when I’m really in love. It can make us hopeful that ppl can be loyal and trustworthy for our own relationships. My partner's steady commitment has been helpful. Although you might love your SO, you know you’re not “in love” with him. I’m proud of you! And just know- even if it doesn’t work out with your current bf, you always deserve to be treated with respect. But they went on to say that they had always felt sorry for me but now they realized why I had made the choices I did and that they were envious. So yeah maybe you leave your relationship and pursue the new and exciting thing, but that’ll become ‘old’ too, and you’ll realize that you lost something real/precious because you wanted to chase something shiny/new. We talk and share. I wish more people could experience a love like that. It will always cause strain in my relationships. I love setting the rhythm of my life to the way I need it to be. I have said this to a girl before and meant it. The reasoning behind everything has absolutely nothing to do with this situation though. I mean, you're asking this in the LDR reddit so you're only going to get one answer. The best think I think you can do as someone who’s in a relationship with someone with ADHD is establish an open, honest line of communication, find a way to appreciate their weird ADHD super powers, and know that there’s a way to make sure both of you are happy and both have your needs met. Also know the difference in "loving someone" and "being IN love with someone" they are two completely different matters. He was so in love with my mom for their 37 years together before cancer stole him from us a couple months ago. When I'm IN love with someone I want to be with them, know there hopes and dreams and try to be a part of them. A lot of people use relationships like therapy. Title given. i’ve fallen in love twice. it felt like my heart was for him in that moment. Edit for a missing word Personally, I want to be in a relationship to fall in love with someone and I want that person to fall in love with me too. You know they are, and it's a serious relationship. You remember that good person at the start. I had a fwb like that once. I cannot go back in time and do differently- but I can encourage others not to make the same mistakes I have made. Another friend will happily fake being in love just to be with someone, even if deep down she doesn’t love any of her boyfriends. Some people I think that if you’re “in love” with someone else, you should end whatever relationship you are currently in. com Mar 24, 2018 · One redditor recently asked this group, "How does falling in love a second time differ from the first?" Here's a look at what men say about how falling for their first love was different than May 23, 2022 · When you love somebody deeply and passionately, and you know that your feelings can never get any concrete reciprocation, it’s just the most difficult place to be in. I wasn’t upset with him for cancelling, I understood. If you don't really love Alice then why are you stringing her along? Let her be free to find someone that does love her. If she is your best friend, you probably feel both. It’s been said that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime. Now. She didn’t pursue a relationship with the other guy but just the fact that she was falling for someone else while in a relationship was enough for her to realize she wasn’t so much in love with her then boyfriend. Long answer: Yo a best friend isn't just someone you met at the beginning of the school year because the teacher gave you guys assigned seating. year of friendship, 3 months of almost dating (we did say i love you but we were also 16 lmao), 4 more years of platonic bestfriendship, then he just sort of introduced the idea of us being something more and I fell pretty much instantly. I can't find someone else attractive or develop feelings for them unless we are friends first No. I can say some people have fallen in love with me or do love me enough to where they put my life as much as a priority in their life, but I have never been like that towards others. our relationship has such a convoluted timeline. People in toxic relationships have so much trouble breaking that cycle. I'd love to continue the friend part of our relationship, and work on my disappointment about the romantic aspect myself. P. He went away, but I still thought about /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Even if they don't fall in love, these would make great conversation starters. Didn’t find my wife until I truly worked on myself and figured out my own identity. If you love someone, there's always something that can go wrong. once i knew after 3 months, and i really knew. r/LongDistance is a subreddit for and about long distance relationships. My feelings are as strong as ever and I do feel like I loved them before I met them in person, though that love was a totally different level once I was in their presence Here is where semantics matter: You don't "fall in love" you get horny for another person then develop a deeper relationship over time. i was confident that i loved him and he loved me. One is a stable kind where the relationship is strong, and both people are happy with the relationship but also want to date others. To complicate things even further, I decided to end my long term relationship. to quote Otis "It's just dumb luck. true. go I know falling in love with someone else is wrong and go ahead and call me a P. But it’s not true that psychopaths lack the capacity for positive feelings towards someone. Love #1: The Soul Mate (The Love that Looks Right) Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. . Love is so special. I think this is what Hollywood sells us on as being something important in a relationship and if you don't feel "in love" then there's something wrong with you, the relationship, or the person. Then tell him what you told us—you could even read your post/tailor it to “you” instead of “him/my boyfriend. This subreddit discusses news, views, and issues around polyamory, polyfidelity, poly people, and related issues. While we can often love someone deeply and be "in love," or deeply bonded, it is very difficult to recapture that state once it is gone. That’s incredibly selfish and will ruin him for relationships in the future. Way too well. So how can you truly love or trust anyone when your fear of loneliness or abandonment has prevented you from holding the people you have emotional ties to accountable for There is a MASSIVE difference in loving someone and being IN love with someone. And as I probably have one of the worse temper, it's no use to dream about a relationship. It's also ok for relationships to change and grow into something different. Lots of young people have trouble getting love and sex mixed up. Love is giving yourself for someone else in the most pure ways. Most people have the ability to refrain from acting on anything like that. It’s not impossible, but it can be extremely difficult. Short-term love is great but long-term love has me excited for the future because I get to share it with someone I love. It doesn't have to mean anything about them, their partner, or the relationship. you will remember when everything started fitting different in what feels like overnight A space for people who struggle with an anxious attachment style to learn more about it (so as to get on the path of healing), share experiences of their healing journey, find support while healing, and give tips and feedback for discovering healthier coping mechanisms, and overall feeling more secure within yourself (and with others). Do not be one of those people. Eventually I got a bit lonely and decided to give online dating a try. s. Love is sacrifice. She actually rushed to marry a guy she barely knew and she moved to Australia for him. Everytime you fall in love with someone and over invest without taking any positive steps to find out who they are, what they really want etc, you are making it harder to ever take that first step. And that’s so completely not the case. Personally, I can love people, but I want to just be by myself at the end of /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. My partner and I began totally online and now do frequent visits. You don’t feel romantic love for your longterm partner but feel that way secretly about someone else. Its socially unacceptable to leave your partner for someone else, but ultimately, if you meet someone else that youd rather be with, your prior relationship needs to end immediately anyway. Love evolves into a more peaceful, less frantic, state over time. With "like", you can never go wrong. Title sort of explains itself. I'm incredibly black and white when it comes to cheating, I find it one of the most disgusting and disrespectful things you can do to someone, so obviously this was pretty gut wrenching to experience. I think I'm broken. They feel. I do often tell myself than I'm not worth being loved. I check up on them when they're sick. Love is not meant to be bargained for. okt zjimz ldlx krhjv tmhkkpc pbwj cetepgv hacm rtoxw aiuak rufece arovgn efwa ouitejz cuwq